miles an hour, but whilst this is certainly theoretically possible, our testers found that anything over fifteen mph their legs were revolving at such a rate that they flew off, and caused quite a hazard to passersby.

Ride and handling
The commonest comgoodiest amongst our testers was they often felt that they were 'Totally out of control', and this is something we feel the makers should look into. The Trandem does of course, have front-wheel drive, and in order to help surpress the natural temptation to use the handlebars (which are purely for balance) the makers provide safety belts for the second and third riders which securely fasten their hands

behind their back.
Visibility is excellent all round, but this advantage is offset a little by the fact that most of our testers found it impossible to resist the powerful urge to close their eyes. We would imagine that, once under way, riding the Trandem would be an exhilarating experience, but we're only guessing, as nobody managed to stay on for more than ten yards.
During that short distance we did consider that the Trandem was rather a noisy ride. There's a distracting amount of panting, wheezing, cries of 'get me off this thing' etc, etc. We also found that there could be a disconcerting amount of wind noise; we would not recommend cycling after drinking Ginger Beer

or eating baked beans.

Brakes
The brakes are almost totally ineffective, but we do not consider this to be a serious drawback, as they are very rarely necessary: half our testers never got moving, whilst the other half stopped with no difficulty, simply by falling off.

Fitting and furniture
The Trandem is a roomy vehicle and whilst it is built for three, one could easily get two people on the back saddle, though of course be extremely dangerous - though no more dangerous than normal. On the other hand, it can be ridden by two, or even one - or simply be left rusting away in the garden shed. The seats are all adjustable, although it

must surely be counted a fault that when the front saddle is at full height it is impossible to reach the handlebars. the basic design is perhaps 'rugged' rather than 'luxurious', but there are innumerable 'extras' available. For example you can buy plush 'armchair' seats - not, in our opinion very practical as we found them very hard to balance on the saddles. Bucket seats are also available and we consider tham more use...especially for throwing up into.
The makers also provide an optional windscreen washer, but at present there is no optional windscreen. The effect, is, however, very refreshing on hot days and waterproof driving goggles are available. Several extra safety

extras are also available including cushions for falling off onto; safety belts which anchor the riders to the nearest lamp post so they can't move; and an oxy-acetylene cutter with which you can totally destroy the beastly vehicle.

In conclusion
Glancing through this report it might appear that our testers did not have a good word for the Trandem. Not so...they had several excellent words; amongst them:'s**t', '**ap', '*i**' and quite a few rather naughty ones too. However this is of course only personal opinion, and it it not beyond the bounds of credibility that someone somewhere might want to purchase a goodies trandem. Well, if you are

remotely interested we are told that the Goodies are planning to bring out several other 'models' of the trandem. These include a one seater version (with only one set of pedals) and a 'convertible' version (which includes a 'conversion kit' of two more wheels, an engine, chassis, etc. etc.).
Personally we feel that both these versions are somewhat contrary to the spirit of the original concept of the trandem. Anyway, suppose you still wanted to buy a standard model. Just suppose. How much would it cost you? The Goodies themselves have stated that they consider the vehicle to be 'Price-less'. Which is fair enough. So if you want it you don't have to pay anything at all. We, however, feel that

this is rather unfair. After all you will be lumbered with carting it away, and you'll also have to put up with people laughing at you if you try to ride it. We would therefore recommend that you bargain with the Goodies, and if they've got any sense they'll slip you a couple of quid to take it away. But then they can't possibly have any sense, or they wouldn't have built it in the first place.
Anyway if you do buy it don't be too upset. It would make an ideal present to give to three people you really dislike - like, half the Osmond Brothers or Mary, Mungo and Midge etc.

Below: This is the sort of power that gives the Goodies Trandem that really 'sporty' thrust.